randeva-Peer+Edits

 With the progress being made in technology, it becomes easier for the average man to move faster and produce quantifying and quality work. Newer technology is constantly being introduced to eliminate the hassle of waiting for a job to be completed. Though the advancements in technology can induce benefits it also poses as a cause to sloth; developing too much dependence on technology. Depending on technology causes the comfort level in man to rise, sometimes causing some to obsess over a new electronic device that will make living much more satisfactory.(can be longer) (Include pictures) The efficiency in computer software makes a job easier because no longer does work have to be done by hand, it can be completed by computers. In the work place, computers cut cost of human workers which can be beneficiary to the person in charge. It also takes up less space then files, which need to be controlled and organized by human workers.(tangent sentences) With the advancement in computer software, inanimate objects are virtually brought to life, with out the assistance or interference from human beings. As stated in the Washington Post, British scientist have developed a robotic fish that would detect potentially hazardous waste in lakes, river, and seas across the world. The pollutant locating robotic fish is, “Unlike earlier robotic fish which needed remote controls,” because “[the fish] will be able to navigate independently without any human interaction.” This advancement in the manufacturing of this fish will make it easier for research because human error can be practically be disregarded as a flaw, when taking in the consideration of its route. The devices offered by manufactures service the public in various ways, technology is consistently being improved to ensure the need for comfort.

The continuing evolution and production of the Smart phone decreases the amount of devices to be carried by the owner of various gadgets. Smart phones are cell phones that offer a variety of services, connection to the internet, a full QWERTY keyboard, music player, etc. "Why would you want to carry around so many devices? I have everything I need in one device," states Mr. Vargas,(You should include the weblink) an owner of a smart phone. These phones are recognized for their assortment of uses. Smart phones are constantly becoming more innovative, it is unnecessary to have another device that only performs one task. Most smart phone models are equipped with a mega pixel camera that can capture a picture as well as an actual digital camera. The sales of these phones are increasing, but decreasing business sales for devices included in a smart phone. “Smart phones are getting so smart that they're now outwitting other consumer-electronics devices.” Smart phones basically have gadgets that are commonly used all in one small device, that doesn’t cause a burden to take with you everywhere. The advancement in technology has made interacting and using devices less of a task.

Accessibility to networking websites and online communities that offer instant messaging, constricts the time used in communicating face to face, declining the interpersonal relationship between people. Social networking websites provide the same quality in actual interactive communication, minus the irritation of movement. People are habitually attracted to these website because it provides a social area to meet new friends, that can help you gain networking opportunities. While talking about the social community Facebook, Farhad Manjoo mentions, “If you're unemployed, jump on this social network for net workers.”(Include sources) Facebook is a social community where not only teenagers use to keep in continuous communication with friends, but job searchers and hires use to find potential work/workers. Networkers are said to be “bored” with the simplicity or job seekers. “The key to finding work in this economy is to look beyond job-listings sites like Monster.com; if your search consists mainly of scouring available jobs and sending in your résumé and cover letter, you're on the wrong path.” Creative individuals are sought after to bring fresh ideas to the work environment. Being constantly connected to the internet and other sources that allow you to stimulate yourself is being taking in mind when advancing technology.

Those who play video games religiously have grown a need for new stimuli, and because they become bored quickly, technology is constantly being advanced to adjust to the change in stimulation. Sensory addiction; the addiction to becoming stimulated is a common traits in those who continually play video games. “Sensory addiction is an inability to cope with slowness. The addict is constantly in need of new stimuli and becomes quite unsettled until that new stimuli is found.” Game creators make games more advance and console makers create better systems to satisfy the need of their consumers. When a consumer becomes bored, the creator has to cater to their needs and make games that will quench their inability to handle the slowness. “With technology we expect progress and we define progress as making our tasks easier and quicker.”(Analyze this quote more) Expecting technology to keep advancing makes human beings prone to dependence.(You could continue this)

Technology has to keep up with the demand of its users. We measure our comfort ability on what ever creates less of a disturbance in a situated lifestyle. It becomes necessary to supply the public with newer, advanced technology to keep a sense of comfort.(elaborate way more)

Over all the essay is good, but it needs work; the conclusion and introduction could be longer, especially the conclusion because there are only three sentences. Stray from tangents because they confuse the topic of the paragraphs. Agree with the first editor, you should include more in the conclusion or combine it with the 5th paragraph. Include pictures to make it more interesting, also analyze fifth paragraph quote.