Latrell-First+Draft

Latrell Hayes Eng. #8

Technology is so important to the human society. I doubt that we as humans can live without technology. Everybody has some type of technology in their house. // Technology is moving so quickly and i__t is made for certain people not__ all. //// Like video games and cell phones. // // Video games are more played by men then women. The players of the games start at a young age. // "These range from kids as young as 9 or 10 (they play console games) to people in their 30s and 40s (they play the more complicated PC games). Within this range, there is one constant--the players are almost entirely male." []. Most of the video games are made with violence and the main goal of most of these games deal with killing as many adversaries in a period of time. // “Flesh Feast // was described in // Gamer fan // magazine as "Blood-spurting, head-rolling, corpse-hackin' action," where the point is to "club, chainsaw, shoot, poke, punch, kick, nail, impale, run over, and drown your adversaries ... with everything from a baseball bat to a freshly liberated zombie arm." []. // There are some women who like to play games. // // There isn’t much of the women population that likes to play games. //Video games are more of a men thing than women. "Recent estimates have the percentage of women gamers at about 10 percent, topping out as high as 25 percent in online gaming. Why? Many of the games are violent, dedicated to the goal of killing as many adversaries as possible in the shortest amount of time." []. Cell phones are the most used technology. The average person owns a cell phone. These phones are mostly used by teenagers. //Cell phones have been a way for teenagers to escape dull classes by using text message. "In the last two years, text messages - which cell carriers generally limit to 160 characters - have become a rage among teenagers, who embrace the technology as yet another way to escape a boring class or stay in touch with friends." [] has had many new developments. Technology has advance so swiftly, the simplest things are really cheap. "Phones are really a lifeline for many people but the technology is advancing so quickly that a simple cell phone is fairly cheap". []. There are new phones made in every two or three months which makes the older phones less money then they were because it doesn’t have the new updates.//   Expand on the women idea. You put it but did not really follow on with it. Your quote citation was also a bit weird. You should indent in paragraphs so no one gets too confused. Make sure all the sentences are same size font. Overall it had interesting facts.-Nyrik  Where is your conclusion? I liked it just need a conclusion- Bilal  It was good but I think you need to expand on all of it.- Ajani