New+Tech.+Assignment9

3 Strong Peer Edits Purple - Katheren
 * Red ****ß **** Natalie **
 * People have adopted the trend of innovative cellular phone **** s **** because of their features, applications and hig **** h **** lights. ** Technology in cell phone has intensely advanced over years and has yet to come to a standstill. We are ignorantly giving in to these flashy, ingenious objects without noticing the affects it has on us. However, is it a negative affect or a positive effect ? Nowadays, everyone has a cell phone ; as does everyone have a myspace or facebook.

Contemporary phones, such as the iPhone, offer thousands of applications. Either for entertainment or luxury services such as a FedEx tracker, these applications are constantly manipulated by our technologic society. Roy Furgott from The New York Times, states that “Eventually when you go to a new neighborhood or city, Sherpa will make recommendations for shopping, restaurants and attractions that you are most likely to enjoy and shows them in a carousel view.” He explains the means of Sherpa, an iPhone application.

Phone features often make chores and daily activities easier and more convenient. Farhad Manjoo from Slate Magazine surprisingly adds, “…Johnson & Johnson is making an iPhone-enabled [|diabetes monitor] that lets people study their blood glucose levels on the go…” Necessities such as diabetes medical support, can be retrieved through a simple application. I find it mind-blowing how cell phones can be used as a medical utility.

People are also attracted by the sleek, thin, colorful looks phones have. Manjoo claims that “It’s thinner than the G1, and available in black, white and maroon.” While the inner contents of cell phones are at their technological peak, companies are discovering ways in which to make the appearance of the phone more attractive. Society’s ideal modern phone looks thin and small. A phone can usually come in any color of a person’s desire. Furgott also reveals that “Other promised improvements include making it easy to move your files from your old phone to the myTouch, and making it easier to customize the screen, not just with wallpapers, but by changing the look of buttons and icons.” You can basically customize your own distinct look in your phone.

Innovative (since you said this before maybe you can say, new? Orginal?) phones are only becoming harder to live without yet making it easier (use a different adjective) to live with. In a broader perspective and in my own personal opinion, the advancement of cellular phones has had a positive impact in people’s lifestyles. The meaning of a cell phone has expanded vastly over mere months. They are simply like laptops, just smaller.

Bella this is a really good essay. I like your word choice and it all seemed to flow really nicely. Just check any of my suggestions to see if you’d like to use them. But other then that you’re good!!! Ily. ß Natalie

Bella Swan! My crazy dracula, you're essay is well written. Great ideas, relevant quotes and amazing fun facts. However, expand it a little bit more, analyze your quotes a little more, fix those little errors. Nevertheless, you have an interesting topic and your essay is good :)